299+ Funny Zombie Jokes That Are to Die For

Looking for a way to tickle your funny bone — even if it’s barely hanging on? You’ve just stumbled onto the ultimate collection of zombie jokes that are so hilarious, they might just raise the dead! In a world where zombies are trending in pop culture—from hit TV shows to Halloween costumes—having a stockpile of undead one-liners is a no-brainer. 🧠💀

This updated and monstrously funny list of 299+ zombie jokes is perfect for Halloween parties, text pranks, dad joke battles, or just groaning with your ghoulish gang. Whether you’re into spooky humor or just want something fun to moan about, these jokes are to die for—literally.

Ready to laugh until you lose a limb? Let’s dig in… 🧟‍♂️⚰️

One Liner Zombie Jokes

I told my zombie friend to go on a diet—he wanted to quit eating my brains, but he just couldn’t resist! 🧟‍♂️💀
Never date a zombie—they’re always looking for someone to chew on! 😂
Zombies hate school—they can’t handle all the deadlines. 📝🧟
My zombie neighbor is moving out—he says he needs more space for his brains! 🏡💀
Zombies make terrible bartenders—they always forget the hero. 🍹🧟‍♂️
Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the other side… of your skull! 🚶‍♂️😂
Zombies love fast food—especially when it’s still warm. 🍔🧠
A zombie’s favorite subject in school? History—they love to study the “dead” past. 📚💀
How do zombies stay in shape? They do deadlifts every morning. 🏋️‍♂️🧟
Zombies don’t believe in ghosts—they prefer the living. 👻🚫
I tried teaching my zombie friend to swim—turns out he just sinks like a stone. 🏊‍♂️💀
When zombies shop for clothes, they always look for a good fit—nothing too tight on the skeleton. 👕🦴
Zombies love social media—they’re always looking for new followers to eat. 📱🧟
My zombie roommate never does dishes—he says he already has enough on his plate. 🍽️💀
Why are zombies great DJs? They know how to drop the beat… from your chest! 🥁🧟‍♂️

Zombie Puns

I’d make a zombie pun, but I’m afraid it would go to your head. 💀😜
Zombies love good puns—they always get to the heart of the joke. ❤️🧟
My zombie friend loves puns—he says they’re gut-busting! 😂🦴
Why did the zombie go to therapy? He had gore issues. 🛋️💉
I told a zombie about a “brain freeze”—he said it was a chilling experience. ❄️🧠
When zombies play cards, they always look for a full house—of brains. 🃏🧟‍♂️
My zombie friend loves gardening—he’s great at rooting for the undead. 🌱💀
I wanted to take my zombie out to dinner, but he prefers eating in-tents. 🍴⛺
Zombies don’t write poetry—they can’t handle all the metaphors. 📜🧠
How do zombies propose? They give you a ring… of fire. 💍🔥
When a zombie gets a sunburn, it becomes well-done. ☀️🥩
Zombies love classical music—especially Bach… into your skull. 🎶💀
My zombie chef friend only cooks one dish: deviled eggs. 🍳🧟‍♂️
Why did the zombie become a stand-up comedian? He wanted to crack you up! 🎤😂
Zombies make the best accountants—they’re good at counting corpses. 🧮💀

Short Jokes on Zombie

What does a zombie call his sweetheart? His ghoul-friend. 💘🧟‍♂️
Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his dead-ucation. 📖💀
How do zombies keep cool? They stay in the dead of summer. ☀️🧟
What’s a zombie’s favorite fruit? Blackberries, because they love anything dark and sweet. 🫐💀
How do zombies send letters? By dead-mail. ✉️🧟‍♂️
Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. 🤡💀
What game do zombies love to play? Hide and shriek. 👻🧟
How do zombies like their eggs? Dead-fried. 🍳💀
Where do baby zombies go to school? Bone-dergarten. 🧒💀
Why was the zombie bad at soccer? He kept heading the ball… without mercy. ⚽🧟‍♂️
What do you call a zombie who loves pasta? A spagh-ghoul-ti eater. 🍝💀
How do zombies like their coffee? With extra dead-cream. ☕🧟
Why do zombies read newspapers? To keep up with the dead-lines. 📰💀
What’s a zombie’s favorite dance? The Dead Man’s Stomp. 💃🧟
Why don’t zombies ever argue? They’re always dead-set on their point. 💬💀

Top Jokes About Zombie

My zombie friend is a terrible liar—because you can see right through him! 🧟‍♂️😂
Why did the zombie bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house. 🥂🏠
Zombies hate rain—they don’t want their brains to get washed away. ☔🧠
What do you call a zombie who loves traveling? A roamin’ undead. 🌍💀
When the zombie opened a bakery, he only made one thing: death rolls. 🥐💀
Zombies make bad kidnappers—they always want a brain ransom. 💰🧠
Why are zombies terrible at basketball? They always travel when they shuffle. 🏀🧟
How do zombies like their steak? Rare, so it still has a pulse. 🥩💀
When a zombie takes a selfie, it always looks dead inside. 📸💀
Why did the zombie become a musician? He wanted to play head-banging music. 🎸💀
Zombies love going to concerts—they enjoy the dead-ening bass. 🎶🧟‍♂️
What’s a zombie’s favorite snack? Chips and dips… mostly brains dipped in salsa. 🌶️💀
How do zombies stay in touch? They send ghost-mail. 👻📧
Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend? She thought he was too dead inside. 💔💀
How do zombies fix things around the house? They use dead-bolt locks. 🔒🧟

Zombie Jokes for Adults

Adulting is hard, but being a zombie is easy—nothing to do but chill with your brain. 🧟‍♂️🍻
Why do zombies make great wine connoisseurs? Because they love anything that’s been aged… to death. 🍷💀
My zombie date kept checking his phone—turns out he was just waiting for more braaaains to text. 📱🧠
Zombies love adult parties—they always bring their own hero. 🥃💀
What’s a zombie’s favorite cocktail? A Bloody Mary… extra bloody. 🍹💀
I asked my zombie boss for a raise—he said he’d consider it once I’m brains-ier. 💼🧠
Why did the zombie break up with his therapist? She couldn’t cure his deadpan humor. 🛋️💀
How do zombies flirt? They say, “Hey babe, you make my heart feel dead inside.” ❤️💀
My zombie roommate never pays rent—he says he’s too busy collecting body parts. 🏠🧟
Why do zombies love poker? Because they always play their cards close to the chest… literally. 🃏💀
What’s a zombie’s favorite bedtime drink? A glass of corpse-icine. 🥛💀
Zombies don’t need coffee—they get their pick-me-up from fresh brains. ☕🧠
How do zombies watch movies? On their dead-ray discs. 📀💀
Why did the zombie go to the strip club? He heard they had bare bones. 💀💃
My zombie friend doesn’t believe in therapy—he says he’s fine as long as he has plenty of caffeine… and brains. ☕🧠

Dad Zombie Jokes

I asked my zombie dad if he liked my report card—he said, “Son, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders!” 😂🧟‍♂️
My zombie dad told me to eat my vegetables—he said they’d make my brains strong. 🥦🧠
Why didn’t the zombie dad cross the road? He preferred to shuffle on the same side! 🚶‍♂️💀
My zombie dad loves dad jokes—he always says, “I’m dying to make you laugh.” 😂💀
Zombie dad: “Don’t worry, son—when life gives you brains, eat them!” 🧠👍
How does zombie dad fix the car? With a dead exhaust system. 🚗💀
My zombie dad is great at grilling—he knows how to make a rare burger. 🍔🔥
Zombie dad always says, “Don’t join the dark side—stay in my sight!” 🌓🧟
Why did the zombie dad bring a clock to the family dinner? He wanted to keep track of brain time. 🕰️🧠
Zombie dad’s advice: “If at first you don’t succeed, try eating again.” 🍴💀
My zombie dad loves camping—he’s great at gore-mancy. ⛺💀
Zombie dad’s motto: “Keep calm and carry a club.” 🔨🧟
Why did zombie dad sign up for yoga? To improve his dead-flexibility. 🧘‍♂️💀
My zombie dad is an expert gardener—he grows killer tomatoes. 🍅💀
Zombie dad says: “If you want something done dead-right, do it yourself!” 💪💀

Zombie Jokes for Kids

What do you call a zombie who likes to sing? A deadric cabaret! 🎤🧟
How do baby zombies say goodbye? “See you later, bone-eater!” 👋💀
Why did the zombie go to art school? To learn how to draw blood. 🎨💉
What’s a zombie’s favorite dessert? I-scream sandwiches. 🍨💀
How do zombies play soccer? With a head-ball. ⚽🧟‍♂️
Why did the zombie bring a backpack to school? He heard it was a brains-torming session. 🎒🧠
What’s a zombie’s favorite candy? Jawbreakers—they love a good crunch. 🍬💀
Why are zombies good at baseball? They always want to steal second base… and first, third, and home! ⚾🧟
How do zombies celebrate birthdays? With a big cake and lots of brains! 🎂🧠
What do zombies say when they’re surprised? “Holy moly, where’d my other hand go?” 😲🖐️
Why did the zombie bring a pencil to the movie theater? To draw his own conclusions. 📝🍿
How does a zombie clean its clothes? With a dead-ergy detergent. 🧺💀
What’s a zombie’s favorite subject? Spelling—they love anything with “z.” 🅰️🧟
Why don’t zombies like fast food? They prefer slow-cooked brains. ⏳🧠
How do zombies brush their teeth? With a dead-mint toothpaste. 🪥💀

Zombie Jokes Dirty

My zombie’s favorite position? Brain-down dog. 🧟‍♂️🍆
Why did the zombie visit the brothel? He wanted some head. 💀💋
Zombies love strip clubs—they can’t resist a good undressing. 💃🧟
How do zombies flirt at the bar? “Hey baby, you make me hard… for brains.” 🥂🧠
What’s a zombie’s kinks? Molestation of the mind. 😈💀
My zombie loves lingerie—nothing turns him on like see-through fabric. 👙🧟
Zombie pickup line: “If I said you had a nice brain, would you pick it?” 😂🧠
How do zombies do laundry? They use dirty socks… for socks. 🧦💀
Why do zombies prefer adult videos? They love watching people get it undead. 🎥🍆
What’s a zombie’s favorite game in the bedroom? Hide the bone. 😏💀
Zombies love latex—especially when it’s skin-tight. 🚪🧟‍♂️
My zombie wife loves roleplay—she says, “I want you to be my undead king.” 👑💀
What’s a zombie’s favorite dessert in bed? Sticky sweet brains. 🍨🧟
Zombie’s idea of foreplay? Nibbling your earlobe. 👂💀
Why did the zombie bring lube to the date? He heard things might get slippery. 🛢️🧟

Zombie Jokes for Halloween

Why did the zombie love Halloween? Because it was the only night he felt dressed up. 🎃🧟‍♂️
Zombies don’t Trick-or-Treat—they Trick for brains. 🍬💀
What’s a zombie’s favorite Halloween game? Pin the brain on the skull. 🧠🔦
How do zombies carve pumpkins? With a bone-saw. 🎃🦴
What do zombies say on Halloween? “Boo… brains!” 👻🧠
Why did the zombie go to the haunted house? He heard the living were inside. 🏚️💀
Zombies love costume parties—they always come as themselves: dead inside. 🥳🧟
What’s a zombie’s favorite Halloween candy? Jawbreakers—they break jaws too! 🍬💀
How do zombies decorate for Halloween? With tomb-stone balloons. 🎈🪦
Why are zombies the best at hide and seek on Halloween? They can hide in plain sight. 👀🧟‍♂️
What do you call a zombie who paints pumpkins? A goregeous artist. 🖌️🎃
How do zombies light their jack-o’-lanterns? With a hero lamp. 🏮👻
What’s a zombie’s favorite Halloween movie? Night of the Living Dead—it’s their life story! 🎥💀
Why did the zombie cross the haunted forest? To get to the other fright. 🌲🧟
What do zombies wear to Halloween parties? Their scare-iest attire. 👗💀

Digital Zombie Jokes

Why did the zombie get kicked off social media? He kept eating his followers. 📱💀
How do zombies like their emails? With attachments of brains. 📧🧠
What’s a zombie’s favorite app? Instagram, because they love to “dead”-tag friends. 📸🧟
Zombies never get viruses—they’re already dead enough. 🦠💀
Why did the zombie start coding? He wanted to create a dead-icated server. 💻🧟‍♂️
How do zombies text each other? They use ghoul-friends on WhatsApp. 💬🧟‍♀️
What’s a zombie’s favorite computer key? The Escape key—so they can run from recon! ⌨️💀
Zombies love memes—especially dead inside humor. 😂💀
Why did the zombie buy a tablet? To play dead-roid games. 📱🧟
How do zombies charge their phones? With a dead-pool charger. 🔌💀
What’s a zombie’s favorite website? Zom-bie.com—full of brains and gore. 🌐💀
Why did the zombie get banned from the chat room? He kept biting the moderators. 🤐🧟
How do zombies pay online? With braincoin. 🪙🧠
Zombies never run out of storage—they always have plenty of space in their skulls. 💾💀
What’s a zombie’s favorite search engine? Deadgle—for all your corpse queries. 🔍💀

Knock Knock Zombie Jokes

Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Dead.
– Dead who?
Dead man walking! 🧟‍♂️🚶‍♂️
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Gore.
– Gore who?
Gore witness, I’ll eat your brains! 💀🧠
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Boo.
– Boo who?
Boo-diful brain eater coming through! 👻🧟‍♂️
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Mummy.
– Mummy who?
Mummy’s hungry for brains! 🧟‍♀️🧠
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Bone.
– Bone who?
Bone to be wild… and hungry! 🦴💀
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Fang.
– Fang who?
Fang you for inviting me in—now give me your brains! 🦷🧠
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Phantom.
– Phantom who?
Phantom of the opera, here for your brains! 🎭💀
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Creepy.
– Creepy who?
Creepy crawly zombie at your door! 🕷️🧟‍♂️
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Rigor.
– Rigor who?
Rigor mortis: stiff as a board and ready to eat your brains! 🪵💀
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Flesh.
– Flesh who?
Flesh-eating zombie seeking refreshments! 🍽️🧟
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Ghoul.
– Ghoul who?
Ghoul-ling up some brains—open up! 🥳💀
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Spook.
– Spook who?
Spook-tacular brain feast awaits! 👻🧠
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Lurch.
– Lurch who?
Lurch-ing around for fresh meat—let me in! 🧟‍♂️🍖
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Rot.
– Rot who?
Rot-ting flesh never looked so good! 🤢💀
Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
Cadaver.
– Cadaver who?
Cadaver to join me for dinner—your brains! 🍽️🧠

Dark Zombie Jokes

They say the last words of a zombie are: “I told you I was dead… inside.” 💔💀
My zombie friend never lies—because he’s honestly dead inside. 😂🧟‍♂️
How do zombies cope with loneliness? They join a necrophiliacs anonymous group. 🛋️💀
What’s a zombie’s worst nightmare? A zombie apocalypse… with no brains left. 😱🧠
When a zombie gets in trouble, they go to dead-end rehab. 🚫💀
My zombie ex asked for closure—so I gave him a lid. 🏺� coffin emoji?
Zombies don’t go to therapy—they prefer a good mass exhumation. 🪦💀
Why did the zombie psychiatrist quit? He found dead minds are harder to treat. 🛋️💔
They say the zombie who laughs last… is still dead. 😂💀
My zombie friend wrote a memoir titled “Life After Death”—but nobody bought it. 📚💀
When zombies pass gas, it’s called stink of the undead. 🤮🧟‍♂️
How do zombies view time? As a never-ending void of decay. 🕳️💀
The scariest thing for a zombie? Self-reflection—seeing how dead they really are. 🪞💔
My zombie friend became a hitman—he’s great at delivering a deadly blow. 🔫🧟
When zombies argue, they settle it with a dead man’s showdown. 🔫💀

Rob Zombie Jokes

Rob Zombie walks into a bar… the bartenders run for their lives. 🧟‍♂️🍺
My playlist only has Rob Zombie songs—because I love living dead tunes. 🎶💀
Rob Zombie’s favorite instrument? The grave-ophone. 🎺🪦
Why did Rob Zombie go to cooking school? He wanted to make fried brains a hit. 🍳🧠
Rob Zombie’s autobiography is titled “I Was Made for Loving the Undead.” 📖💀
When Rob Zombie goes to Costco, he buys bulk zombie supplies. 🛒🧟‍♂️
Rob Zombie’s favorite horror movie? Night of the Living Dead—it’s a classic. 🎥💀
Rob Zombie doesn’t use a GPS—he haunts his own path. 🗺️👻
What’s Rob Zombie’s favorite candy? Jawbreakers—he loves anything with a good crunch. 🍬💀
Rob Zombie’s dream vacation? A trip to Transylvania—for research. 🏰🧟‍♂️
How does Rob Zombie stay in shape? He does deadlifts every morning. 🏋️‍♂️💀
Rob Zombie’s favorite video game? Left 4 Dead—it’s practically his life story. 🎮🧟
When Rob Zombie tells a joke, it’s always dead on. 😂💀
Rob Zombie’s hero? A vulture—they both love the decay. 🦅💀
How did Rob Zombie celebrate his birthday? With a zombie-themed rave. 🎉🧟‍♂️

Minecraft Zombie Jokes

Why did the zombie go to Minecraft? To find some blocky brains. 🧟‍♂️🧱
How do Minecraft zombies stay in shape? They do skele-ton workouts. 💪💀
Why don’t Minecraft zombies like the sun? Because they can’t handle the block burn. ☀️🧟
What’s a Minecraft zombie’s favorite tool? The iron sword—for cutting brains. ⚔️🧠
How do Minecraft zombies greet each other? “Grief and greet.” 😂💥
Why do Minecraft zombies never win races? They keep lagging behind. 🏃‍♂️💀
How do you stop a Minecraft zombie from charging? Throw a cobblestone at it. 🪨🧟‍♂️
Why did the Minecraft zombie break up with his girlfriend? She had no heart—it’s pixelated. 💔🖥️
What’s a Minecraft zombie’s favorite drink? Potion of Slowness. 🧪💀
How do Minecraft zombies read? On their E-book—er, I mean, E-zombie-reader. 📚💀
When Minecraft zombies go fishing, they use rotten flesh as bait. 🎣🤢
Why are Minecraft zombies great miners? They always hit rock bottom. ⛏️💀
How do Minecraft zombies pay for things? With emeralds… if they have any brains left to barte. 💰🧠
What’s a Minecraft zombie’s favorite block? Netherrack—it reminds them of home. 🔥🪨
How do Minecraft zombies write letters? They use a zom-mail system. 📨🧟

Zombie Jokes for Girlfriend

Babe, you’re so sweet, you make me forget about eating brains—almost. 🧠❤️
My love for you is like a zombie—undying and always hungry. 💘🧟‍♂️
If I were a zombie, I’d let you be my last meal. 😘🍽️
You’re the brain to my undead heart. 💖🧠
Our love is like a zombie apocalypse—chaotic, messy, but endless. 💏💀
With you, I feel more alive than any zombie could ever be. 🌟🧟‍♂️
You make my heart beat—because otherwise, it’d be too dead from all this zombie talk. ❤️💀
Your kisses are better than a fresh brain—and that’s saying a lot! 💋🧠
If zombies ever attack, I’d save you—then eat your jealousy instead. 🛡️🧠
You’re my favorite undead partner in crime. 💑💀
I love you more than a zombie loves rotting flesh. 😍🤢
Our love story is better than any horror flick—because we survive together. 🎥❤️
You’re the pulse in my lifeless world. 💓🧟‍♂️
My zombie heart beats only for you—literally, because I still have one. 🤍🧠
Together, we’re a killer couple—just ask any zombie. 💀💑

Zombie Jokes for Boyfriend

Babe, you’re hotter than a fresh brain—and that’s saying something. 🔥🧠
If I had a dollar for every brain I’ve eaten… I’d still share them with you. 💸🍽️
You’re the one who makes my heart skip a beat—because otherwise it’d be dead. 💓💀
I love you more than zombies love fresh meat. 😘🥩
Our love is like a zombie chase—intense, thrilling, and nonstop. 🏃‍♀️💀
You’re the glue holding my rotting heart together. 💘🧠
If zombies ever attack, I’ll protect you—until they distract me with fresh brains. 🛡️🧠
Your smile brightens my dark undead days. 😁🧟‍♂️
I love you more than a zombie loves to moan. 💞🗣️
You’re the only one who can make my rotting heart feel alive. 🥰💀
With you, every day feels less like a horror and more like a romance. 🌹🧟
You’re the brain to my decaying body. 🧠🦴
Our love story is the ultimate zombie survival guide—we always make it through. 📖💘
You give me more thrills than a zombie rollercoaster. 🎢💀
Together, we’re a deadly duo—just ask any zombie! 💪🧟

Zombie Jokes for Wife

Honey, you’re so beautiful, you make me forget about eating brains—almost! 😍🧠
Our love is like a zombie apocalypse—unbreakable, messy, and forever. 💞💀
You’re my sun in this undead world—always brightening my day. ☀️🧟‍♂️
With you, life feels more alive than any zombie could ever be. 🌹🧟
You’re the pulse that keeps my zombieship beating. ❤️🧠
Honey, I’d cross a graveyard full of zombies just to be with you. 🪦😘
You’re the only one who can bring me back to life—figuratively, at least. 💗🧟‍♂️
If I said you had a nice brain, would you let me eat it? 😂🧠
You make my heart race—because otherwise it’d be too dead. 💓💀
Together, we’re the perfect match—like brains and skulls. 🔥💘
You’re the reason my heart isn’t rotten. 🥰💀
Honey, when I look at you, I feel more alive than any zombie out there. 🌟🧟
I may roam the lands of the undead, but my heart’s always at home with you. 🏠💗
You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted—besides fresh brains. 😋🧠
With you by my side, I’d face any horde of zombies. 🧟‍♂️🛡️

Zombie Jokes for Husband

Babe, you’re my hero—unlike those zombies, you actually find me irresistible. 🦸‍♂️🧠
I love you more than a zombie loves rotting flesh. 💖🤢
With you, my heart feels alive in this undead world. 💓🧟‍♂️
You make my life more exciting than a zombie chase. 🏃‍♀️💘
My love for you is like a zombie—undying and always hungry. 💞💀
You’re the only one who can bring me back to life—even if I’m a zombie. 😘🧠
Honey, I’d cross any graveyard just to find you. 🪦💌
You’re the brain to my undead heart. 🧠❤️
With you, I never feel dead inside. 🌹🧟‍♂️
I’d face a horde of zombies just to make you smile. 😊🛡️
You’re my companion in this zombie apocalypse of life. 💑💀
I love you more than zombies love to moan. 😍🗣️
You’re my light in the dark undead world. 🌞🧟‍♂️
With you, life’s never boring—even among the undead. 🎉💗
Together, we’re an unstoppable duo—just ask any zombie. 💪🧟‍♂️

Conclusion

Thank you for joining this gyu (guy’s) undead journey—may your days be filled with laughter, even if your friends are falling apart. 😂🧟
Keep these jokes handy for Halloween parties or when a friend needs a brain freeze… of laughter! ❄️🧠
Stay undead-tired of boredom, and never let your sense of humor decompose. 💀😁
Remember, laughter is the best medicine—unless you’re a zombie, then brains are life support! 🍽️💀