If you’re going a little nuts looking for laughs, you’ve just hit the comedy jackpot. Whether you’re a squirrel lover, a pun collector, or just in need of a laugh that’s acorn-level silly, this list has you covered. We’ve gathered the most trending, updated, and downright hilarious squirrel jokes from all over the internet—no tree left unshaken!
From kid-friendly quips to squirrel jokes for adults with a cheeky twist, you’ll find everything from one-liners, knock-knock jokes, funny squirrel names, and even Spongebob squirrel puns (yes, Sandy Cheeks makes a few appearances). These jokes are perfect for classrooms, parties, nature lovers, and anyone who appreciates clever wordplay and nutty humor.
So whether you’re hiding snacks for winter or just scrolling for smiles, this epic squirrel joke collection will crack you up faster than a squirrel with a pecan. 🐾 Get ready to laugh your tail off!
🐿️ Squirrel Jokes
- 🥜 Why did the squirrel cross the road? Because it was nuts!
- 🌰 What do squirrels give each other for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts
- 🐾 How do squirrels get around town? They use the nutwork
- 🧠 The squirrel went to therapy—he had too many buried issues
- 🍂 Why don’t squirrels ever get lost? They always follow their instincts
- 🍁 What do you call a squirrel who can sing? A chip-monk
- 🪵 The squirrel threw a party—it was nuts, obviously
- 🚪 Knock knock. Who’s there? Squirrel. Squirrel who? Squirrel you open the door or what?
- 💡 Why are squirrels so smart? Because they’re always storing knowledge
- 🚗 What did the squirrel say when it got a speeding ticket? Nuts to that
- 🍔 Squirrel’s favorite fast food? McNuts with a side of crunch fries
- 🦷 Why did the squirrel go to the dentist? To get his acorns checked
- 🐿️ I asked a squirrel for directions—he just gave me a nutty look
- 🏋️ Why do squirrels lift weights? To stay acorn-ditioned
- 🛏️ Why don’t squirrels oversleep? Because they’re afraid they’ll miss a nut
🧽 Spongebob Squirrel Jokes
- 🌊 Why did Sandy the squirrel move underwater? For deeper conversations
- 🧠 Sandy’s brain is so big, Plankton feels like a pistachio
- 🐿️ How do Sandy and SpongeBob stay friends? They’re nuts about each other
- 🌪️ Sandy’s tornado jokes? Blowing minds since Bikini Bottom
- 🍍 Why did Sandy leave SpongeBob’s party? It wasn’t Texan enough
- 🪣 Sandy’s bucket list? Beat Karate, Build Robots, Out-Nerd Squidward
- 🤠 What does Sandy say when she’s angry? I’m fixin’ to crack some acorns
- 🌵 SpongeBob asked Sandy for a hat—she gave him a dome
- 📚 Why is Sandy so smart? She’s got squirrel-sense
- 🧽 SpongeBob: You look tense! Sandy: I’m nut under pressure
- 💬 What did Sandy say to Patrick? Bless your tiny coral heart
- 🐙 Why doesn’t Squidward mess with Sandy? She’s got claws… Texas-style
- 🚀 Sandy’s favorite bedtime story? Nut-ronauts in Space
- 🧤 What’s Sandy’s superhero name? The Lone Nut
- 🧹 When Sandy cleans, even Mr. Krabs says it’s shell-shocking
🔞 Squirrel Jokes for Adults
- 🛏️ What do squirrels do when no one’s watching? Netflix and shell
- 🥃 I saw a squirrel at a bar—he was going nuts over the bartender
- 💋 That squirrel was so flirty, I almost dropped my nuts
- 🧣 Why did the squirrel wear a scarf? He wanted to look knotty
- 🛋️ That squirrel’s Tinder profile says: 5’9, nutty, emotionally unavailable
- 🧼 Squirrels don’t take bubble baths—they prefer nut-soaks
- 🔥 When squirrels get hot and heavy, they call it tree-mendous
- 💄 That squirrel’s makeup was flawless—100% acorn-certified glam
- 🔒 Ever heard of squirrel roleplay? It involves handcuffs and hollow trees
- 🍷 Why don’t squirrels get hangovers? Because they only sip nutmeg
- 🧠 That squirrel’s got brains and booty—talk about double trouble
- 💃 The squirrel danced so good, the chipmunks tipped
- 💍 Squirrels don’t marry for love—they marry for tree equity
- 👠 Why did the squirrel wear heels? She wanted to look nuts and fabulous
- 🕺 That squirrel could twerk the bark off a tree
👧 Squirrel Jokes for Kids
- 🥜 What do you call a squirrel with a nut allergy? A weirdo
- 🌰 What did the squirrel say to the nut? It’s been real
- 🚴 Why did the squirrel bring a bike to school? It wanted to go nuts in PE
- 📚 Why do squirrels love books? Because they’re full of stories to chew on
- 🎨 What’s a squirrel’s favorite subject? Nut and craft
- 🧦 Why don’t squirrels wear socks? They like to feel the bark
- 🧃 What do squirrels drink for breakfast? Nut juice
- 🐾 Why did the squirrel fail his spelling test? He couldn’t spell acorn without crunching
- 📺 What’s a squirrel’s favorite cartoon? The Nut Avengers
- 🛷 Why don’t squirrels sled? They don’t like going nuts downhill
- 🐿️ What’s the best day of the week for squirrels? Nut-day
- 🛏️ Why did the squirrel sleep in class? He was dreaming of peanut butter
- 🍩 Squirrel’s favorite snack? Nut-frosted donuts
- 👟 Why do squirrels wear sneakers? So they can tree-hop quietly
- 💡 What do squirrels call a bright idea? A light-nut moment
😂 Funny Squirrel Jokes
- 🧊 What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of ice cream? Rocky Squirrel
- 🕶️ That squirrel’s so cool, he wears shades under the tree
- 🥜 Squirrels have strict diets—90% nuts, 10% mischief
- 🚫 Never play poker with a squirrel—they’re nuts at bluffing
- 🎤 What do squirrels rap about? Tree life and nut struggles
- 🦷 That squirrel smiled and cracked a walnut with his teeth
- 🐱 Why was the cat afraid of the squirrel? He had a nutty attitude
- 🛍️ I saw a squirrel shopping—must’ve been a mall-nut
- 📱 Squirrel on TikTok? Too many tree-lationship dramas
- 🦹 Squirrel superhero? The Nut Avenger
- 🧠 Squirrel with glasses? A true nut-ellectual
- 💼 That squirrel’s got a 9-to-5—he’s a branch manager
- 💪 Why did the squirrel go to the gym? To flex his pecans
- 🍂 Autumn is squirrel’s favorite—fashionable and nut-friendly
- 🐿️ That squirrel winked at me—flirt level: barked
🫢 Squirrel Jokes Dirty
- 🌳 Ever seen two squirrels wrestle? Let’s just say… acorn to acorn
- 🫣 That squirrel climbed my leg like he meant it
- 🛏️ I caught squirrels getting busy in my shed—they were nuts for each other
- 🧼 Squirrels love baths—as long as it’s with nutty bubbles
- 🍑 The squirrel showed off his tail like it was prime bark real estate
- 👀 That squirrel’s wink made my pinecones drop
- 🧴 I found squirrel lotion—called “Oily Acorns”
- 🌲 Squirrels don’t need Tinder—they just shake their tails
- 🚿 That squirrel showered like a nut star
- 🎶 Their squeaks sounded like a romantic acorn opera
- 🛋️ Squirrels don’t Netflix and chill—they bark and bounce
- 💋 That squirrel’s lips? Cracked from all the nut whispering
- 🛑 I told the squirrel to stop flirting—he said I was bark-blocking him
- 🩳 That squirrel struts like he invented nut briefs
- 🪵 She called him her lumber-lover
🎯 Squirrel Jokes One-Liners
- 🐿️ I’m nuts about squirrels—they crack me up
- 🍂 Fall is when squirrels go full snack mode
- 💨 Squirrels don’t jog—they scamper with purpose
- 🥜 Life is short—chase your nuts
- 🌰 I tried hiding nuts, but I lost my trail mix mind
- 🧠 Squirrel brains are small but fully occupied
- 💼 Squirrel business: find nuts, hide nuts, forget nuts
- 🛏️ My bed’s a mess—blame the squirrel party
- 🕶️ That squirrel’s got tree swag
- 🪵 Bark is just a runway for squirrels
- 🧃 Squirrel smoothie? Crushed acorns with attitude
- 🚫 Don’t judge a squirrel by its tail
- 🐾 Nuts over looks—that’s squirrel dating
- 🎓 Squirrel college? Tree U
- 🧹 I cleaned up—found a squirrel rave under my couch
