299+ Top Nun Jokes, That’ll Have You Laughing

When it comes to humor that’s both lighthearted and timeless, few themes manage to strike the perfect balance quite like nun jokes. These witty, often clever quips have been delighting audiences for decades — and in 2025, they’re making a strong comeback as a trending source of clean comedy. Whether you’re looking to brighten your day, share a laugh with friends, or add some wholesome fun to your conversations, this collection of 299+ top nun jokes is exactly what you need.

In today’s fast-paced, often overwhelming world, humor that transcends boundaries and respects tradition is more valuable than ever. Nun jokes do just that — blending playful irreverence with a touch of reverence, all while being fresh and updated for a modern audience. You’ll find everything from classic one-liners to clever puns and even some unexpected twists that are sure to catch you off guard.

One Liner Nun Jokes

“Why did the nun join Twitter? To get more followers.” 😇
“The nun’s favorite instrument? The haut(e) pipe.” 🎶
“Nuns in space? They’d still take a hab-it break.” 🚀
“Nun’s advice: always say your prayers—and your Wi-Fi password.” 📶
“Why didn’t the nun use a bookmark? She’d rather pray than pause.” 📖
“Nuns don’t gossip—they convent to each other.” 🤫
“Nun’s favorite game? Cross-word puzzles.” ❌
“Why did the nun sit on the clock? She wanted to be on holy time.” 🕰️
“Nuns are great at geometry—they know all about sacred circles.” 🔵
“What’s a nun’s favorite vegetable? Garlic—to ward off bad spirits!” 🧄
“Nun math: 2+2=hallelujah.” ➕
“When a nun sneezes, you say God bless her.” 🤧
“Nun trends: holy planking.” 📸
“Why’d the nun go to art school? To learn how to draw parallels.” ✏️
“Nuns never lie—they confess the truth.” 🙏
“What’s a nun’s favorite candy? Life Savers.” 🍬
“Nuns love coffee—they need their daily espresso-lution.” ☕
“A nun’s favorite movie? The Sound of Music, obviously.” 🎥
“How do nuns get around? On habit-ual routes.” 🚌
“Why do nuns love math? Because they’re good at multipli-cations.” ➗
“What’s a nun’s favorite board game? Father-and-Son-opoly.” 🎲
“Nuns never get lost—they always follow their divine GPS.” 📍
“Why did the nun go to therapy? To get her inner peace.” 🧘
“What’s a nun’s favorite fruit? Pear of sinners.” 🍐
“Nuns read horror—they call it purgatory.” 👻
“Why do nuns love baking? They get to make holy rolls.” 🥖
“Nuns don’t need keys—they open doors with prayer codes.” 🗝️
“Why did the nun get a promotion? She had a calling.” 📈
“What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A roamin’ Catholic.” 🛌
“Nun’s motto: Live, laugh, love… and pray.” ❤️

Nun Puns

“I’ve got a nun too many puns.”
“She took a vow to always be punny.”
“It’s a sin to be without holy humor.”
“Nun of your business!”
“That’s nun-sense.”
“She’s a convent-ional comedian.”
“Holy puns, Batman!”
“Convent-ure is out there!”
“Her jokes are habit-forming.”
“You’ve got to believe in nuns.”
“A convent-ion of puns.”
“Nun out of ten recommend these jokes.”
“This is nun-derful!”
“Pull out your rosary for this one.”
“It’s a vow to laughter.”
“Pray-tzel puns!”
“That’s a nun-starter.”
“Holy mirth!”
“She’s taking the habit to a new level.”
“No nun-chucks allowed.”
“Holy cackle!”
“Let’s congregate over puns.”
“We’re on a mission to laugh.”
“That pun should be canonized.”
“Nun can resist.”
“This is pure nun-ology.”
“Expect more nun-believable jokes.”
“She’s vow-verboard.”
“A spiritual giggle.”
“Puns for the soul.”

Short Jokes on Nun

“Nun with the wind.”
“Habitual laughter.”
“Pray and slay.”
“Holy moly!”
“Nun worries.”
“Spirit-lifter.”
“Prayer meeting.”
“Convent crowd.”
“Soul mate.”
“Divine dine.”
“Sacred snack.”
“Choir crush.”
“Heaven-sent.”
“Bless-ed be.”
“Peace piece.”
“Holy folly.”
“Altar ego.”
“Nunsense.”
“Habit hack.”
“Vow wow.”
“Saints’ taunts.”
“Grace race.”
“Gospel giggle.”
“Holy jolly.”
“Divine wine.”
“Convent convenience.”
“Mass amuse.”
“Sin bin.”
“Angel angle.”
“Pulpit pulpit.”

Top Jokes About Nun

“The nun’s gym: it’s called the convent-ional workout.”
“Nun took my salad—she’s a real holy-maniac.”
“I saw a nun at the beach—she was in the habit.”
“Nun’s favorite class? Meditation 101.”
“Which nun is fastest? Habit Flash.”
“Nun’s toothbrush: the holy brush.”
“Why did the nun climb the mountain? For a higher calling.”
“The nun’s joke was so good—it got canonized.”
“Nun’s playlist: Hallelujah on repeat.”
“She’s writing a book: ‘Living the Habit.’”
“Nun’s favorite star: Holywood.”
“In convent traffic—they drive in processions.”
“Nun’s barber: gives the best habit-cut.”
“Why did the nun sit by the phone? For the ring of prayer.”
“Nun’s garden: full of sacred seeds.”
“She microwaves with holy heating.”
“Nun’s cell: it’s peaceful.”
“She’s the principal of the convent school.”
“Her selfies always have a halo effect.”
“Nun’s calendar: always April pray.”
“Nun’s diary: full of confessions.”
“Her ringtone is Ave Maria.”
“Nun’s coffee: extra divine.”
“She’s on a sacred scroll.”
“Her cookbook: ‘Bread and Blessings.’”
“Nun’s backpack: it’s a holy haul.”
“Why the nun’s a foodie? Loves spiritual spices.”
“Nun’s app: PrayPal.”
“She loves mass-ages (massages).”
“Nun’s morning motto: Rise and shine… and pray!”

Nun Jokes Dirty

“Why’d the nun bring a mop to bed? To sweep me off my feet.” 😉
“Nun’s version of Netflix and chill? Pray and pillow talk.” 😏
“She said ‘Kiss me like a nun’—I responded, ‘I’ll give you a blessing.’” 💋
“Nun’s secret: she likes it when I kneel.” 🙇‍♂️
“She confessed she’s dying for a good time.” 😈
“Nun said she’s sinning in the sheets.” 🔥
“Her habit’s unzipped at night.” 🌙
“Nun’s robe is open—someone’s vice-habited.” 🚪
“She whispered ‘I love your secret vow.’” 🤐
“Nun’s prayer: ‘Make me hotter.’” 😉
“Her rosary beads get tangled.” 🔗
“Nun’s swimsuit: nothing but a habit.” 🩱
“She called me brother—I got excited.” 😉
“Nun’s holy water: always warm.” 💧
“She took a vow of pleasure.” 😇
“Nun’s confessional: my bedroom.” 🛏️
“Her prayer book has naughty notes.” 📓
“Nun said ‘Let’s make a miracle.’” ✨
“She loves my mass-ive heart.” ❤️
“Her habit’s stained—someone’s been sinning.” 👀
“Nun said, ‘I’ll show you my habit.’” 😜
“She likes it rough—calls me Father.” 😈
“Nun’s ring can’t contain her lust.” 💍
“Her halo tilts when she’s mischievous.” 😇
“Nun’s cross stays on—during everything.” ✝️
“She said ‘Bless me, Father’—I said ‘Not a priest.’” 😉
“Her vows include ecstasy.” 🔥
“Nun’s prayer: ‘Fill me up.’” 💦
“Her rosary is made of pleasure beads.” 😏
“Nun’s taboo: no taboos.” 🙏

Nun Jokes Puns

“Habit-forming humor.”
“A holy roller.”
“Convent-ional wisdom.”
“Nun-derestimate us.”
“Mass appeal.”
“Pray and slay.”
“Vow to laugh.”
“Soul searching.”
“Sacred snack.”
“Rosary risc.”
“Cross your heart.”
“Heavenly body.”
“Sin-sational.”
“Celestial jokes.”
“Nun-stop fun.”
“Divine dine.”
“Mass-tive laughs.”
“Convent-ional humor.”
“Vow wow.”
“Saints’ taunts.”
“Holy moly!”
“Prayer power.”
“Bless-ed be.”
“Sacred giggle.”
“Habit-trick.”
“Heaven help us.”
“Amen-dable.”
“Confessional confession.”
“Angel-ic wit.”
“Nunsense prevails.”

Nun Jokes for Kids

“Why did the nun bring a ruler? To measure her blessings!”
“Nun’s favorite fruit? Orange you glad you prayed?”
“What’s a nun’s favorite ice-cream? Angel-food cake!”
“Why did the nun cross the road? To get to the chapel!”
“Nun’s pet? A holy cow.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite game? Hide and pray.”
“Why did the nun wear sneakers? For holy rollers!”
“Nun’s bedtime story? Heavenly tales.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite color? Pewter.”
“Nun’s snack: Grace crackers.”
“Why did the nun giggle? She heard a choir joke.”
“Nun’s magic trick: turning water into coffee.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite sport? Cross country.”
“Nun’s favorite insect? Praying mantis.”
“Why do nuns sing? For the hallelujah chorus!”
“Nun’s favorite toy? A holy doll.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite month? May—it’s Mary’s month!”
“Nun’s favorite letter? Y—why not pray?”
“Why did the nun bring chalk? To write sermons.”
“Nun’s favorite instrument? Bell.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite animal? A sheep.”
“Nun’s juice? Spirit.”
“Why did the nun plant flowers? For a rose-ary.”
“Nun’s favorite day? Sunday—mass fun!”
“What’s a nun’s favorite board game? Guess Who? (Guess which saint!)”
“Nun’s favorite cartoon? Popeye.”
“Why did the nun paint? To add some color to her habit.”
“Nun’s favorite shape? Circle—no corners in heaven.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite snack? Holy chips.”
“Nun’s laugh is the best medicine.”

Nun Jokes Holy Water

“Holy water—now with extra blessings.”
“I put sparkling water in the font.”
“Holy water tastes like divine vodka.” 😉
“She said, ‘Fill me up!’—I handed her the font.”
“Holy water: the original face wash.”
“Add a straw for sipping blessings.”
“Holy water—now mint flavored!”
“She sneezed into the font—bless you.”
“Holy water on ice—frosty faith.”
“Holy water—no calories.”
“She uses holy water as hand sanitizer.”
“Holy water fountain—hydration of the soul.”
“I put lemon in holy water.”
“Holy water in a spray bottle—bless and go.”
“She said, ‘I’m thirsty’—I handed her the font spritzer.”
“Holy water at parties—sacramental shots.”
“She filled her pool with holy water—dive in faith.”
“Holy water—two drops, instant grace.”
“Add glitter for divine sparkle.”
“Holy water on plants—blessed blooms.”
“Holy water coffee—perked up prayers.”
“Holy water caramel—sweet salvation.”
“Now selling holy ice cubes.”
“I put holy water in my humidifier.”
“Holy water gum—fresh faith.”
“Holy water pizza—blessed crust.”
“Holy water toothpaste—divine mint.”
“Holy water soap—clean conscience.”
“Holy water energy drink—heavenly buzz.”
“Bless this beverage!”

Dirty Priest and Nun Jokes

“Priest asked the nun, ‘Mind if I kneel here?’ She said, ‘Only if you pray for mercy.” 😉
“Nun said, ‘Father, I’m hot.’ He replied, ‘Remove a layer… of guilt.’” 😈
“Priest: ‘Bless me, sister.’ Nun: ‘Only if you confess first.’” 😉
“They said it was a vow of silence—they lied.”
“Priest and nun played spin the rosary.”
“They call it holy matrimony—even without marriage.”
“Nun’s habit got in the way… of everything.” 🚪
“Priest whispered, ‘Kiss the ring.’ Nun responded, ‘On my lips?’” 💋
“They shared a secret sacrament.”
“Nun said, ‘I love your mass.’” 😉
“Priest said, ‘I have a calling.’ She said, ‘I’ll answer it.’”
“They wrote vows… of pleasure.”
“Priest taught her the spiritual arts.”
“They said no touching—but eyes deceive.”
“Nun: ‘Fill my soul.’ Priest: ‘With what?’” 😏
“Their cross was crossed wires.”
“Priest and nun: a divine duet… in the dark.”
“They hid in the confessional… again.”
“Priest’s collar got unbuttoned.”
“They called it faith healing.”
“Their secret: holy role-play.”
“Priest said, ‘We need more mass.’ She winked.”
“They drank from the same chalice… of desire.”
“She said, ‘I’m immaculate.’ He proved otherwise.”
“Their prayers ended in climax.” 😉
“Priest said, ‘Father knows best.’ She disagreed.”
“They practiced sacred positions.”
“Priest and nun: partners in divine crime.”
“They called it breaking bread.”
“Their confession became a love confession.”

Clean Nun Jokes

“Why did the nun bring a broom? To sweep away sins.”
“Nun’s favorite soap: Ave Maria.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite flower? Rosemary.”
“Nun’s shoes: always holy soles.”
“Why are nuns good secretaries? They’re used to writing mass letters.”
“Nun’s favorite pie: apple- of God.”
“What do nuns eat on Valentine’s? Holy hearts.”
“Nun’s pillow: prayer-soft.”
“Why do nuns meditate? For inner peas (piece).”
“Nun’s favorite dessert: heavenly cheesecake.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite weather? prayer showers.”
“Nun’s hat: a holy helmet.”
“Why did the nun study art? To paint the holy spirit.”
“Nun’s cat: called Saint Paws.”
“Why don’t nuns swim? They don’t want to wash out their vows.”
“Nun’s blanket: prayer quilt.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite joke? A clean one.”
“Nun’s lunch: holy sandwich.”
“Why do nuns garden? They love to plant seeds of faith.”
“Nun’s bus pass: fare of grace.”
“Why is the nun always calm? She has inner peace.”
“Nun’s flashlight: holy beam.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite number? seven—perfectly holy.”
“Nun’s clock: always set to prayer time.”
“Why do nuns write letters? For divine correspondence.”
“Nun’s pen: writes in ink of faith.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite soundtrack? Heavenly melodies.”
“Nun’s backpack: carries sacred supplies.”
“Why did the nun smile? She saw a blessing.”
“Nun’s motto: Serve with joy.”

Priest and Nun Jokes

“Why did the priest and nun go hiking? For a spiritual climb.”
“Priest: ‘I have a confession.’ Nun: ‘So do I!’”
“They play chess—calls it Mass-ter planning.”
“Priest and nun’s duet? Hallelujah remix.”
“They can’t agree on subtitles—he says Amen, she says A-men.”
“Priest’s sermon: ‘Love thy neighbor.’ Nun’s: ‘Pet thy neighbor’s cat.’”
“They volunteer at the soup kitchen—soup-er team.”
“He rings the bell, she rings the rosary.”
“They share the same vow-abulary.”
“Priest and nun in karaoke: ‘On Holy Ground.’”
“He carries the chalice, she carries the snacks.”
“They argue over hymn numbers—he loves #5, she loves #9.”
“Priest teaches, nun reaches the higher calling.”
“They bake holy bread—call it mass rolls.”
“Priest’s collar vs. nun’s veil-off competition.”
“They say ‘peace be with you’—then hug it out.”
“Priest and nun’s favorite sport? Cross fit.”
“They write a book: ‘Spiritual Siblings.’”
“He reads scripture, she reads spirit-craft.”
“They share a car—holy commute.”
“Priest’s hat vs. nun’s habit fashion show.”
“They call it vow-leyball.”
“He fills the font, she fills the hearts.”
“They play bingo—spiritual numbers game.”
“Priest’s mic, nun’s mix.”
“They host a podcast: ‘Holy Banter.’”
“He says ‘mass,’ she says ‘mass-tache.’”
“They open a café—serving Divine Latte.”
“Priest’s sermon vs. nun’s snack talk.”
“They call it the holy alliance.”

Funny Nun Jokes for Adults

“Nun said, ‘I like it when you kneel.’ I said, ‘Anywhere you want.’” 😉
“She whispered, ‘Bless me.’ I wasn’t a priest.” 😏
“Nun’s secret: loves a good confession—in bed.”
“Her habit hid a lot… of curves.” 😉
“We played spiritual Twister.”
“Nun’s robe: best peek-a-boo habit.”
“She said, ‘I vow to please.’” 🔥
“Her rosary beads got rearranged… intentionally.” 😈
“Nun’s holy water turned to flushed desire.” 🚽
“She likes to say amen… again.” 😉
“Nun’s cross turned into a cross-your-legs game.”
“She loves my mass-ive heart.”
“Nun’s ring left a mark.” 💍
“Her halo slipped—revealed sinful hair.” 😉
“She whispered, ‘Take my habit off.’”
“Nun’s prayer: ‘Hit me… harder.’”
“We called it divine intervention.”
“Her vows included ecstatic joy.”
“Nun’s corridor—our private runway.” 😉
“I gave her a blessing she won’t forget.”
“Her confessional had no walls.”
“Nun’s cat got jealous… of me.” 😼
“She said, ‘St. Peter’s gate… or my bedroom?’”
“Nun’s chapel turned into a love chapel.”
“Her hymns got sung… off-key.”
“We turned the organ into a love organ.” 😉
“Her sacred scroll became a love note.”
“Nun’s chair… for extra support.”
“She said, ‘Confess again…’” 😉
“I blessed her… extensively.” 🔥

Naughty Nun Jokes

“Nun’s robe was more like see-through.” 😉
“She asked for a private mass.”
“Her habit had a slit.”
“Nun’s vow of silence… broken nightly.”
“She called me Father—I blushed.”
“Nun’s holy water got heated.”
“We played spiritual peek-a-boo.”
“Her rosary became a rope.”
“Nun said, ‘I love your mass.’” 😈
“She whispered, ‘Vow to please.’”
“Nun’s sandals… removed.”
“Her halo dimmed… then brightened.”
“We wrote new commandments.”
“Nun’s prayer book: full of naughty notes.”
“She took a vow of pleasure.”
“Nun’s cross became a crossing legs.”
“She said, ‘Bless me… again.’”
“Her confessional was my bed.”
“Nun’s tongue… well-trained.” 😉
“We called it the final sacrament.”
“Her habit fit… perfectly.”
“She whispered, ‘Holy matrimony.’” 😂
“Nun’s veil… gently removed.”
“She said, ‘Confess your love.’”
“Nun’s prayer: ‘Make me yours.’”
“Her vows… redrafted.”
“We practiced sacred positions.”
“Nun’s ring… on my finger.” 😉
“She lit a candle… for us.”
“We had a divine rendezvous.”

Nun Jokes for Adults

“Nun said, ‘Kiss the ring.’ I said, ‘Already did.’” 😉
“Her habit hid a secret thrill.”
“Nun’s cathedral became my playground.”
“She called me Father—I corrected her.”
“Nun’s holy water got red hot.”
“We turned hymns into moans.” 😉
“Her vow of chastity… on hold.”
“Nun’s cross became a handhold.”
“She said, ‘Bless me…now.’”
“Her rosary… rearranged nightly.”
“Nun’s sandals… slipped off.”
“We played convent-ional hide and seek.”
“Her halo… tilted wickedly.”
“She said, ‘My dorm’s too quiet.’”
“Her confessional… open door policy.”
“Nun’s prayer: ‘Fill me with grace.’” 😈
“Her vows got rewritten.”
“We practiced divine discipline.”
“Nun’s apron… disposable.”
“She called it holy foreplay.”
“Her habit… loosely fastened.”
“We shared one massive secret.”
“She whispered, ‘Make me saintly.’”
“Nun’s candle… wax everywhere.” 😉
“Her bible… used as a doorstop.”
“We called it the final blessing.”
“Nun’s seat… always warm.”
“She said, ‘Confess… more.’”
“Her ring… glowing.”
“We had a blessed night.”

Dad Nun Jokes

“Why did the nun bring a ladder? To reach higher blessings!”
“Nun’s favorite instrument? The organ-ic one.”
“What do you call a nun in an elevator? A holy roller!”
“Nun’s math: one + one = hallelujah.”
“Why did the nun cross the road? For a holy cause.”
“Nun’s coffee: grounds for joy.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite snack? Grace crackers.”
“Nun’s favorite game? Convent-ional hide and seek.”
“Why didn’t the nun need a watch? She had prayer time.”
“Nun’s favorite book? Mass Appeal.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite exercise? Pilgrimage.”
“Nun’s favorite color? Pewter.”
“Why do nuns sing? For the choir of you.”
“Nun’s pet: the holy cow.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite vegetable? Peas—for peace.”
“Nun’s favorite ride? The hab-it.”
“Why are nuns great drivers? They have divine direction.”
“Nun’s favorite animal? The praying mantis.”
“What did the nun say at sunset? Twilight prayers.”
“Nun’s favorite holiday? Good Fri-yay.”
“Why did the nun go to art class? To draw inspiration.”
“Nun’s favorite song? Ave Maria.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite sport? Cross country.”
“Nun’s snack: blessed nuts.”
“Why did the nun plant flowers? For a rose-ary.”
“Nun’s bedtime: prayer o’clock.”
“What’s a nun’s favorite shoe? Soul-mates.”
“Nun’s favorite season? Fall—leaves and praise.”
“Why do nuns read? For the holy stories.”
“Nun’s favorite sign? Crosswalk.”

Conclusion

One Liner Nun Jokes: Quick quips that pack a punch 😂
Nun Puns: Wordplay that’s habit-forming 😉
Short Jokes on Nun: Tiny laughs for a big smile 😁
Top Jokes About Nun: Our best hits so far 🎯
Nun Jokes Dirty: A little naughty fun 🔥
Nun Jokes Puns: Pun-tastic humor that resonates 🎉
Nun Jokes for Kids: Clean, cute, and kid-friendly 🌟
Nun Jokes Holy Water: Splash of laughter 💧
Dirty Priest and Nun Jokes: Cheeky tales from the confessional 😉
Clean Nun Jokes: Pure humor for everyone 😇
Priest and Nun Jokes: Dynamic duos in comedy 🤝
Funny Nun Jokes for Adults: Mature humor with a wink 😏
Naughty Nun Jokes: Risque and delightful 😈
Nun Jokes for Adults: Spicy stories after dark 🌙
Dad Nun Jokes: Pun-filled dad humor for the holy household 👨‍👧‍👦