Monday can often feel like the toughest day of the week. After a relaxing weekend, the thought of getting back to work or school can be quite daunting. But what better way to kick off the week than with some lighthearted humor? In this collection of 150+ best dad jokes about Monday, we’ve gathered the funniest and most relatable quips to help you start your day with a smile.

Whether you’re dealing with the classic Monday blues or simply trying to keep the mood light at work, these jokes will keep you laughing through even the longest days. Trending and updated, these dad jokes are sure to resonate with anyone who knows the struggle of facing the first day of the week. So, sit back, grab a coffee, and enjoy a dose of humor that will make you look forward to Monday — or at least tolerate it with a chuckle!

Best of all, you can share these jokes with your friends, family, or coworkers to spread the joy and keep the Monday vibes as positive as possible. Let’s dive in and turn your Monday into a fun-filled start to the week!

Monday Jokes for Kids

• Why did the kid bring a ladder to school on Monday? Because they thought classes were on another level! 🪜
• What did the clock say on Monday morning? “I’m ticked off!” ⏰
• Why was the broom late on Monday? It overswept! 🧹
• How do monsters eat their breakfast on Monday? Fright toast! 👻
• What do you call two days of rain followed by Monday? A mood day! ☔️
• Why did the pencil feel tired on Monday? It lost its point! ✏️
• What’s a cat’s favorite subject on Mondays? Mew-sic! 🐱
• Why did the banana go to work on Monday? It had to split! 🍌
• What do you call a snowman on Monday? A meltdown! ⛄️
• Why did the teddy bear skip breakfast on Monday? It was stuffed! 🧸
• How does a train eat on Monday? It goes chew, chew! 🚂
• What do you call a dinosaur on Monday? A saurprise! 🦖
• Why did the orange stop rolling on Monday? It ran out of juice! 🍊
• What do you call a washing machine on Monday? A spin doctor! 🌀
• Why was the math book sad on Monday? It had too many problems! 📚
• What does a cloud wear on Monday? Thunderwear! 🌩️
• Why did the cookie go to school on Monday? Because it wanted to be a smartie! 🍪
• What’s the best way to catch a squirrel on Monday? Climb a tree and act like a nut! 🐿️
• Why are pencils great on Monday? They’re always write on time! 📝
• How do fish say hello on Monday? Bass-ically! 🐟
• What did the ocean say to Monday? Nothing, it just waved! 🌊
• Why did the light bulb get a day off on Monday? It was burned out! 💡
• What do you call a Monday that tells jokes? A punchline! 😆
• Why did the scarecrow love Mondays? Because he was always outstanding in his field! 🌾
• How does a snowflake feel on Monday? Totally flakes out! ❄️
• What do you call Monday in the jungle? A roarless day! 🦁
• Why did the grape apologize on Monday? It got raisin its voice! 🍇
• What does a spider do on Monday? It spins out of web! 🕸️
• Why did the computer go to bed on Monday? It had too many bytes! 💻
• What do you call a musical sandwich on Monday? A jam session! 🎶

Monday Jokes For Adults

• Mondays are like math: important, but I’d rather avoid the problems. 🤓
• My therapist says I have pre-Monday anxiety. Now I need therapy for my therapy. 🛋️
• If Monday were a person, I’d file a restraining order. 🔏
• Coffee: because murder is illegal on Mondays. ☕️
• Monday called—it wants its sleep back. 💤
• I’m on a seafood diet: I see Monday and I skip it. 🍤
• Monday: the moment reality hits you like a ton of emails. 📧
• I’d ask my alarm to pause Mondays, but it went on snooze. 🔔
• If Monday were a flavor, it would be unsweetened coffee. 😒
• My favorite exercise on Monday? Running away from responsibilities. 🏃‍♂️
• Monday is the reason the weekend didn’t last long enough. ⏳
• Monday: the only day with five letters that feels like 100. 🔢
• I have a love-hate relationship with Mondays—mostly hate. ❤️‍🩹
• If Monday had a theme song, it’d be the sound of traffic. 🚗
• Mondays are like telemarketers—always calling when you’re not ready. 📞
• Warning: I drink coffee before my brain is awake on Monday. ☕️
• Monday: the day I survive on willpower and coffee breath. 💨
• My Monday morning motivation? Chocolate. 🍫
• Mondays should be optional, like eating vegetables. 🥦
• Monday is essentially the Mondayest day of the week. 🗓️
• Monday is the gym of the calendar—it always pushes you to your limits. 🏋️
• If Monday were a sport, it’d be wrestling—no one wins. 🤼‍♂️
• Monday: the day my email inbox greets me like a horror movie. 📬
• I’d trade all my Mondays for one Friday. Deal? ✍️
• Monday: the day clocks move slower, and coffee tastes better. ⏰
• My bed is like a magnet on Mondays—impossible to leave. 🛏️
• If Monday had a smell, it’d be burned toast. 🍞
• Mondays are like math problems—you just want to find x and leave. ➗
• Monday: the sequel nobody asked for. 🍿
• Monday is pronounced “Mourn-day” for a reason. 😔

One-liner Puns and Dad Jokes On Mondays

• I love waking up on Mondays—said no one ever. 😂
• My Monday mood is sponsored by coffee. ☕️
• Mondays are proof that time is a flat circle. 🌀
• Every Monday feels like a personal attack. 🎯
• Monday forecast: 100% chance of coffee. 🌧️
• Mondays are like hangovers without the fun. 🤕
• Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone. 💌
• If Monday had a face, I’d not punch it. 🤜
• Monday: the first chapter in the book of failure. 📖
• Mondays are the universe’s way of saying “Oops!” 😬
• My bed had a shower on Monday—no regrets. 😂
• Don’t worry, Monday is on its way… said no one in their right mind. 🛣️
• My spirit animal on Monday? A sloth. 🦥
• Monday is just a haircut away from Sunday. 💇‍♂️
• Keep calm and pretend it’s Sunday. 😌
• Mondays are like magnets—they attract trouble. 🧲
• Monday: because weekends don’t count. 🤷
• Monday is the drama queen of the week. 👑
• If Monday were music, it’d be elevator muzak. 🎵
• Mondays are the hurdle in your weekly marathon. 🏅
• My Monday goal: keep the tiny humans alive. 🍼
• Mondays are like broccoli—you just have to deal with it. 🥦
• Mondays are free trials of Tuesday. ⏳
• Monday is like a math test you didn’t study for. 📐
• Mondays are a multiple-choice question—A. Cry B. Coffee C. Repeat. 🤔
• Monday: the day I fake my way through the week. 🎭
• Mondays make me feel like a broken pencil—pointless. ✏️
• Monday’s motto: Rise and whine. 🍷
• Mondays should come with a skip button. ⏭️
• If Monday were a flavor, it’d be plain yogurt. 🥛

Longer Story-Type Dad Jokes About Monday

• Last Monday, I tried to drink coffee in the dark because I hadn’t woken up yet. I spilled half and blamed the light switch. ☕️
• On Monday, I wore two different shoes thinking it made a fashion statement. Turns out everyone thought I was just late. 👟👞
• Monday morning, I told my alarm clock it was broken. It replied by turning up the volume instead. 🔊
• I walked into the office on Monday carrying my laptop like a briefcase. My boss asked if I was ready for the runway. 💻🏢
• Monday, I brought donuts to the meeting to be nice. They disappeared so fast I questioned my friendship. 🍩
• On Monday, I yelled at my computer for not booting. It crashed just to prove a point. 💻
• Monday morning I tried to make a salad for breakfast. It ended up as lettuce water because I dropped the blender. 🥗
• I told my coworker Monday was my favorite day. He hasn’t talked to me since. 🗓️
• Monday I bought a new planner to organize my life. It’s still blank. 📒
• Last Monday, I offered to trade tasks with my boss. He replied, “Nice joke.” 🤣
• Monday morning, my phone autocorrected coffee to coffin. It nailed my mood. 📱
• I tried to invent a machine to cancel Mondays. It only worked on Tuesdays by accident. ⚙️
• On Monday, my cat walked across the keyboard. Now my report looks like ancient hieroglyphics. 🐱
• Monday, I set my Zoom background to a beach. Everyone asked why I wasn’t at work. 🏖️
• Monday morning, I told my mirror I needed a new reflection. It cracked in protest. 🪞
• On Monday, I attempted a pep talk in the bathroom mirror. It felt more like a midlife crisis. 🚽
• Monday, I tried to drink tea for a change. I spilled it on my reports. 🍵
• I celebrated Monday by wearing my fancy shirt. It was inside out all day. 👔
• On Monday, I told my plants they had to grow up. Now I need a gardener. 🌱
• Monday, I decided to walk instead of drive. I arrived sweating and late. 🚶
• I emailed my boss Monday morning, “I’m on vacation.” He replied, “Welcome back.” ✈️
• On Monday, I tried doing yoga at my desk. I accidentally sent my stretch to everyone. 🧘
• Monday morning, I greeted my coffee mug by name. It responded by cracking. ☕️
• I printed my Monday schedule on a napkin by mistake. Now my break notes are very important. 📝
• Monday, I set two alarms and both failed. I embraced my inner bed and didn’t get up. 🛌
• I told my plant on Monday, “Grow strong.” It dropped a leaf in protest. 🌿
• On Monday, I tried to meditate before work. I fell asleep and snored in peace. 🧘‍♂️
• Monday, I wore my “Worker of the Month” badge. HR told me it was for last year. 🏅
• I asked my smartwatch on Monday for a reminder. It reminded me to breathe. ⌚️
• On Monday, I tried to be an early bird and got the worm. Turns out it was still too dark. 🐦

Conclusion

• Mondays might be tough, but a quick joke can turn your whole day around. 🎯
• Sharing a laugh with family, friends, or coworkers can ease the Monday blues. 🤝
• Whether you prefer one-liners or story-style quips, there’s a dad joke for every mood. 📖
• Keep these jokes handy to make your next Monday your most memorable one yet! 🌟